Happiness
by JenJo
Summary: Kaidan Alenko and Naira Shepard are happy. Set post ME1 and pre ME2, so the happiness obviously ain't gonna last.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own any characters mentioned. Obviously.

Just an idea I've had for a while. Comments/reviews appreciated and welcomed, even if they're "constructive criticism". Cause how else do I improve?

There will be more. Depends on popularity/motivation how quickly more will come.

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><p>Naira Shepard woke from her sleep, and rolled over in her bed. She opened her eyes to see Kaidan doing push-ups on the floor near her desk. This was Naira's favourite way to wake up. It was one month since the defeat of Sovereign, and repairs to the Normandy were slow. The crew was undermanned; Naira wanted to give people plenty of rest before the Reaper threat came closer. The fact that the Normandy was still not 100% repaired also weighed in on the decision not to have a full crew. Sleeping quarters had taken a large portion of the attack, and most of the crew were doubled up. Naturally, Naira was sharing her room with Kaidan. Since coming back from defeating Sovereign, the two had been near inseparable. A few weeks back, Pressly decided to change the duty roster, putting Naira and Kaidan on opposite shifts. That pleased no-body. But it did mean that Shepard awoke every day to the sight of Kaidan doing push-ups, his way of relaxing before bed.<p>

Apparently she had been staring too long: Kaidan had finished, and walked over to give Naira a wake-up kiss.

"Good morning. Anything interesting happen while I was asleep?"

"Well," Kaidan started, wrapping his arms around Naira, "We scanned another system. And guess what? No geth."

"There's a shock," Naira had every faith in Alliance intel. It was just weird that she was sent to find Geth instead of preparing for the Reaper invasion.

"Naira, the last month has been the happiest of my life…" Kaidan started.

"Hey, it sounds like you're breaking up with me!" Naira interrupted. He put his hand over her mouth.

"Let me finish," when she nodded, he removed his hand. "I want to be with you. When you face the council, I want to be right there beside you. when you fall on the battlefield, I want to be the one to pick you up. And," Kaidan smiled, "When you destroy the last Reaper, I want to be there."

"Kaidan are you…" Naira started to grin, mirroring Kaidan's expression. Kaidan removed his arms from Naira, reached into his pocket, and pulled out a ring on a chain.

"This was my mother's. She wore it every day, and she gave it to me the day I left on my first assignment. So, Naira Shepard, will you marry me?"

"Yes!" The two embraced again. They stayed like this until the Normandy VI signalled that there was 5 minutes until the start of the next shift.

"I better get ready," Naira reluctantly let go of Kaidan, and went to put on her armour. "You should wear the ring, Kaidan. Best not to get anyone starting rumours on the citadel."

"Right," Kaidan said as he got into bed. "Why are you wearing armour? I thought you were doing maintenance on the communications relay?"

"Well, we're hunting Geth right? I figure, easier to be ready for anything. Night," Naira gave Kaidan a kiss goodbye. "Love you."

"Love you too," Kaidan replied as he fell asleep.


	2. After the Accident

_I think that this is the quickest any of my stories have ever been updated. What can I say? The reviews put a smile on my face._

_This wasn't how this story was going to go, but I changed my mind. Do something different._

_This chapter takes place a few hours after the last._

_Still don't own Mass Effect._

_Enjoy._

_(Italics are Kaidan's thoughts)_

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><p>He sat looking out the window at the wreckage. The mysterious ship had gone, and all that was left was a dozen escape pods. Someone in the pod gasped; the four of them looked out the window, and saw the Normandy enter the atmosphere of the planet. Kaidan's heart skipped a beat. Or two.<p>

He felt cold and numb at the same time.

_Naira had gone to get Joker._

_She'll be fine. _

_But I saw that third shot!_

_She's Naira Shepard; she'll be fine. _

_Not all the pods were launched!_

_SHE'LL BE FINE!_

This internal argument consumed Kaidan, so much that he did not notice that his escape pod ad been collected by another ship.

"Lieutenant, are you ok?" a voice finally penetrated Kaidan's thoughts.

"Is Naira ok?" Was the first thing out of his mouth.

"We have not found Commander Shepard yet. Are you ok?"

"Not particularly." He looked out; there were four other pods in the hangar bay. "How many people have been recovered?"

"Less than half of those that were on the Normandy. What happened?"

"I..I don't know. I was asleep, and heard alarms. I put on my armour, and ran out. Then I ran to Naira, and she went to save Joker. And then…" _I saw the third shot. _The Alliance officer put an arm on Kaidan's shoulder.

"It's ok, Lieutenant. You're safe…" the poor woman couldn't have known what that statement of good intention would do to the grief-stricken lieutenant.

"Sure, I'm safe!" Kaidan rose from the chair he had been sitting in. The officer looked away. "Yeah, cause me being safe is important! Naira is missing. She's missing. She's…" Kaidan grasped his head in pain. All the yelling had caused an intense migraine to manifest. His yelling had caused security, and everyone else, to come into the hangar; when he grasped his head, it was Dr. Chakwas who went to him.

"Are you ok?"

"Bad migraine. Didn't happen to bring any painkillers did you?" The familiar voice somewhat alleviated Kaidan's head. Somewhat.

"Not quite. I'm sure they've got some on board."

"**Another escape pod has been found" **said a voice over the speaker. Kaidan raised his head too quickly, but he didn't notice the pain. The entire hangar fell silent.

"**One person is aboard." **Everyone from the Normandy held their breath for the pod to enter the bay.

Kaidan held the necklace in his hand, hoping for Naira to be in the pod.

When Joker was helped out of the pod, Kaidan's heart sank. Sure, he was happy to see his best friend. _But he's not Naira. _Joker looked like he had thrown up. He also looked like he had been crying. _Joker crying? That can't be good news._

"Commander Shepard…threw me into the pod..she got blown away..and..she.." Joker was choking back tears. "She closed the door and sent me away. I watched her…her…" he couldn't finish the sentence. He didn't have to. Everyone knew what happened without being told.

Many started crying.

Kaidan just lay on the cold hard floor, holding the engagement ring in his hands.


	3. Solitude

_Hello again._

_Thanks for reading._

_Once again, italics indicate Kaidan's thoughts._

_Takes place a week after the last chapter._

_Enjoy._

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><p>The Alliance didn't skimp on comfort for war heroes.<p>

The room that Anderson booked for Kaidan had a bed with a mattress.

_Suppose that's supposed to make me feel better._

The funeral was tomorrow. That much he knew. Since being rescued a week ago, Kaidan had spent all his time in this room, drinking. Sure, being an L2 meant he didn't get a hangover, but he still felt the effects of alcohol

It didn't numb the pain.

_Nothing could._

Anderson had tried to talk to him.

Kaidan was the highest ranking officer to survive. Kaidan didn't want to relive it. Anderson said he understood. He set Kaidan up in this hotel which overlooked the citadel's gardens, which had miraculously survived the attack from Sovereign.

Anderson sent four different psychologists, including Dr. Chakwas.

Kaidan still didn't talk.

The only time he did talk was when he was alone and drunk.

He talked to Naira.

He knew it was wrong but it felt right.

Nothing felt real to him anyway.

He took another drink from the fridge, and opened it biotically.

Since the accident, his biotics had been erratic. Maybe that was why he preferred to stay indoors; to keep others safe from his uncontrollable outbursts.

Those outbursts had already claimed the room's sofa.

Kaidan sighed at the sight. He had gotten rid of his armour- it lay in a corner of the room, discarded as soon as he had entered. He couldn't look at it, nor could he throw it out.

It was the last thing she saw him in.

He had removed his shirt and resided in his pants only. The necklace remained, including the engagement ring.

At times Kaidan had felt like throwing the ring out the window but he couldn't. It was his only connection to Naira.

At night he lay on the floor, not the bed. He lay like he did in the hangar bay, except surrounded by empty bottles.

There was a knock at the door. He ignored it.

_I'm not talking to anyone today._

"Kaidan, open up!" the voice yelled. The voice was somewhat familiar, so he decided against better judgement to open the door. He didn't care that he had no shirt on.

Or that he hadn't shaved since that terrible night.

"Kaidan, you look terrible." It was Joker, with a smile, dressed in his dress blues and holding another set. Kaidan hadn't smiled since going to sleep that night.

"What do you want?" Kaidan made to close the door. _Joker is the reason Naira is dead. I can't talk to him. _

"A drink." His blunt reply caught Kaidan by surprise.

"Really?"

"No. Anderson sent me." Kaidan made to close the door, but Joker held out one of his crutches to stop him.

"Do you know what today is?"

"November 27th."

"No, November 28th." _No, it can't be._ "It's Naira's funeral. Thought you might wanna go."

Kaidan sighed and fell onto what remained of the sofa. Joker followed, taking a seat on the unused bed.

"It's her birthday Joker."

"I didn't know that."

"Nobody does. It's a secret. Growing up on the streets, she didn't celebrate it much. Didn't want people knowing in the military. SO she gave a fake birthday," Kaidan took another drink.

"Are you…" Joker started, but Kaidan cut him off.

"I'm fine, no matter what anyone says. I'm fine." Maybe if I keep on saying it it'll happen. Joker gave him a funny look- disbelief.

"Right."

The two sat in silence for a few minutes. It was quite a sight: Joker in his dress blues, Kaidan in pants unshaven.

Joker got up and got a drink out of the fridge. He couldn't open it. Kaidan almost laughed at the inability of Joker until he took pity and opened it for him.

"Thanks." he took a drink. "Are we gonna go?"

"How can I joker? I'm supposed to be an officer. I won't be an officer at that funeral. She's not Commander Shepard to me. She's just Naira. She's…I'm not sure how I can go on Joker. And I shouldn't be speaking to you! It's your fault; it's all your fault!" Kaidan was now standing up, crackling with uncontrolled biotic energy. For joker's part, he sat completely still, relying on his ability to calm Kaidan down.

"Kaidan, please don't do this. Will killing me bring her back?"

"It'll make me feel better."

"No Kaidan it won't. I've been beating myself up since that day. You've just gotta get moving in your life. Do you think Naira would want to see you like this?"

Kaidan sighed.

_No, she wouldn't._

_He has a point._

For the first time since before the attack, both sides of Kaidan were in agreement. Kaidan raised his bottle, which was almost empty.

"To Naira"

"Joker raised his bottle. "To Shepard." They drank in silence.

"I'll go."

"If you're gonna, please have a shower. You smell worse than Wrex after a battle." That brought a smile to Kaidan's face.

_Maybe I just need to say goodbye. _


	4. The funeral

_This is probably the worst chapter so far._

_I just had no ideas for how to improve it._

_I apologise._

_Italics are still Kaidan's thoughts._

_A couple of hours after the last chapter._

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><p>Arriving at the Presidium, Kaidan couldn't believe how many people could fit within, even with the damage. There had been a month of repairs, and the Presidium was almost exactly as it was. There were easily a few million people, and not just humans. Kaidan and Joker moved through the crowd to the seats that were reserved at the front.<p>

The millions were all silent. Many had tears. At least those how were physically able to cry had tears. Kaidan just tried to breath.

_If the alliance knew the truth about us…_

The first row was filled with the survivors from the Normandy, as well as the council and Anderson. Udina was nowhere to be seen.

_Naira would've loved this. All these people sitting side by side._

He blinked back tears.

_But this was the day we would've married._

He had it all planned. After Naira had left, he had decided that the two of them would wed in secret on her birthday.

Instead he was at her funeral.

_What should've been the happiest day of my life is one of its saddest. Isn't the universe wonderful?_

The service had begun. The council was talking of Naira's accomplishments in that way the three spoke. They made her sound like a hero.

She was a hero.

But she was more than that to Kaidan. He had seen under her commander personae. He had seen her at her most vulnerable, at her happiest and saddest. To him Naira Sheppard wasn't the hero of the citadel; she was just Naira, another human who hid her true self from the universe.

Even though it felt wrong he smiled. He was probably the only one smiling at that moment, besides the reapers. If they could smile.

He smiled as Anderson took to the floor, speaking of all of Naira's military achievements. He spoke of the fire within her that drove her to greatness. He spoke of her kindness to those of all species, commenting on her squad in particular. Could any other human have united a Turian, Krogan, Quarian, and Asari and fought alongside them?

Apparently only Naira could have.

Kaidan supposed that his smiling was from Naira. He could imagine her sitting beside him, laughing as the alliance and council listed her achievements. He knew that she didn't like being rewarded for things that she felt were necessary.

A voice then said that the empty coffin was to be launched from the citadel into the surrounding nebulae, as a symbol and to protect the citadel. Kaidan noticed that people were standing to salute the coffin as it passed, even those who weren't in the alliance or human. He stood and joined them.

As the coffin went past he mouthed:

Goodbye Naira.


	5. After the funeral

_I decided to post another chapter to make up for such a crappy one._

_Turns out this one is also crappy._

_I am aiming to post another one today. _

_A good one._

_Italics are still Kaidan's thoughts._

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><p>After the funeral everyone went back to their lives.<p>

Kaidan and Joker remained seated, in silence.

Kaidan was thinking about how quickly the Normandy crew had dispersed to new assignments.

"After all we've been through you'd think we'd continue together," Kaidan noted.

"Without Shepard we don't have any reason to. She's the reason all the aliens came, and the Alliance has re-deployed everyone else."

"I guess I just didn't want to be reminded that she's gone."

Kaidan looked away. He also began to faintly glow blue.

"Lieutenant Alenko, can I have a word with you?"

It was Admiral Hackett. Joker left the two alone. Hackett sat down in the vacated seat. Kaidan didn't look at him.

"I understand that this is a hard time for you. I understand that you were a close friend of the Commanders-"

_A little more than close Admiral._

"-but you can't stay out of the field forever. You have been promoted to Staff Commander. There is a highly classified mission that needs you. I've herd that the commander's death has had a large impact on you."

_Large is an understatement._

"We were going to ask Shepard to undertake this mission, but that's no longer an option."

Kaidan turned to face the admiral.

"You're giving me her assignment? At her funeral?" He was dumbstruck. The blue around him darkened a couple of shades.

"This is a highly time sensitive assignment Alenko. We need you to get started within the week. That's an order." Hackett left.

Kaidan was alone in the Presidium.

He felt alone in the universe.

_So much happened here. This is where Naira became a spectre._

Kaidan smiled at the fact that Naira had regretted becoming a spectre.

_Now she's dead. A dead spectre that can't complain or regret anything anymore._

That thought wiped the smile off of Kaidan's face. His biotics had finally calmed down enough to consider leaving.

Choking back tears, Kaidan made his way to his hotel room, contemplating a cleanup.


	6. Former happy moments

_Hmmm, some random moments from before Naira died._

_"Happy times"._

_Should make up for the last two crappy things._

_And i used my first swear word in a fic!_

_Milestone._

_Thanks for reading and reviewing!_

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><p><em>Before rescuing Liara:<em>

"So, a spectre huh? Better not let that power go to your head." Kaidan joked.

"I'll try not to Alenko. I trust that you'll make sure I don't?" Naira replied with a smile.

"Of course Commander. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon."

"That's reassuring. Now there was a reason I came to talk to you…." before you distracted me… "Right, suit up; we'll reach Therum in ten minutes."

"Yes Commander."

_After Virmire:_

No one had seen Naira all day. On returning from Virmire, she had barricaded herself in her room, using her tech skills to lock the door.

Kaidan felt like he had to talk to her, even if she didn't want to talk.

"Shepard, open the door."

Silence.

"Naira?"

"Please…go away." Kaidan had never heard naira sound so defeated. He tried to open the door but his tech skills were no match for hers.

The door then opened, but it wasn't because of Kaidan. He stepped into the room, which was in complete darkness. The door closed and locked behind him. Kaidan couldn't see, so he stood still.

"Well, what do you want?" Naira snapped another rarity for her.

"I wanted to see if you were alright-"

"Do I look alright?"

"I don't know. I can't see you."

"God. I don't want you to see me like this." There was a hint of crying in her voice.

"Please Anita talk to me."

The use of her first name had the desired effect. She turned on the lights.

Kaidan knew then that what he was seeing was Naira defeated. Her room was a mess, armour strewn on the floor. The woman was also a mess- no neat bun; her red hair hung loose. Her off duty uniform was half on, with the top not buttoned up. Kaidan felt like he should turn away, but didn't'.

"Still wanna talk to me?"

"Of course. I'm always here for you commander."

"Hhm thought that first name thing wouldn't last."

"How are you?" The sincerity was evident and compelled Naira to talk.

"I feel like shit. I can't sleep. Every time I close my eyes she's there, looking at me with her smile. I look at food and I feel like throwing up. I feel like throwing up thinking about it. I keep on thinking how I could have saved both of you. And now I look at you and her image is brighter in my head." She looked away: Kaidan sat on her bed beside her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Ash was a soldier. She knew the risks. We all do. That's why we both volunteered to die. She understood the importance of stopping that facility. So did I. that's what you should focus on. We did good down there," he heard her sniff, and he rubbed her shoulder sympathetically. She turned to face him. He gave her a reassuring smile, causing a small one to form on her face.

"Thank you Kaidan."

"You're welcome…..Naira."

He leant in, placing a tender kiss on her lips.


	7. Horizon

_Kaidans gonna be in ME3 and he's a spectre!_

_yay._

_:)_

_anyways, this is Horizon._

_And its nothing like the game, cause i played it in january and can't be stuffed finding the correct words._

_Plus playing Horizon with my female Shepard inspired this story._

_Italics= Kaidan's thoughts, _**bold**_= Naira's thought._

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><p>No happy memories for Kaidan remained.<p>

He walked through the horizon colony looking at the frozen faces of those he had tried to help/

_Maybe that's the problem. Me._

_Everything that makes me happy is ultimately taken away from me._

He then heard voices.

_Wait I recognise that voice. No it can't be._

He rounded the corner, and there she was.

"Commander Naira Shepard. Saviour of the citadel. You're in the presence of a God Delan. And a ghost."

His entrance took naira by complete surprise. She stared at him and him at her. She then ran to him, and threw her arms around his neck. Thankfully he returned the hug.

He looked behind her at her companions. He thought he saw Garrus but wasn't sure.

He then looked at the dark haired woman, and saw a Cerberus uniform. He pulled away from naira.

"Kaidan?"

He had one word for her

"Cerberus."

Not a question. He looked at her: she looked away,

_No denial._

"First you make me think that you were dead for two years-"

"I was"

"- then you turn up here, with Cerberus! Do you remember those sick" emphasis on the word sick "experiments that we stopped?"

"Kaidan are you going to let me speak?"

"Look, I can understand if you can't talk about it. But two years naira! Two long years, living as though id lost you forever."

"I'm sorry Kaidan, I really am. But I died. I've been dead for two years, being pieced back together by Cerberus."

"And is that why you're with them now?"

"Yes. They are investigating these missing colonies while the alliance does nothing-"

"We have been investigating. That's why I'm here. But Cerberus? Seriously?"

"Kaidan, please….come with me."

"I uh don't think I can do that Sheppard."

**No first name.**

"Kaidan?"

"Has anyone told you what day they held your funeral?" she shook her head. "November 28th. Remember what day that was? I was gonna… No, forget it. I need to go. "

He walked away, before turning back and adding: "Watch your back."

**And he left.**

Naira fell to her knees unable to stand any more.

"Commander?"

He was met with silence, except for muffled sobbing. Then there was a sniff.

"Im fine Garrus. I just need a minute."

Miranda watched Kaidan drop something on the ground. She walked over to it; a necklace with a ring on it. She looked at Sheppard, who was still on her knees, head in her hands. Miranda pocketed the necklace, making a mental note to speak to Joker about it.


	8. Aftermath

_Another chapter lucky people._

_Starting school tomorrow, so chapter updates will be slow._

**Bold**_= Naira's thoughts._

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><p>Garrus waited patiently for Naira to get up in her own time. he didn't even notice Miranda walk off; he crouched beside his commander, waiting for her.<p>

Eventually she stood, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Ok Sheppard?"

"I'm…I'll be ok. Thanks,: she paced a hand on his shoulder.

"Joker come pick us up. I've had enough of this colony."

Naira spent the ride back to the Normandy in silence.

No thoughts in her head.

Garrus and Miranda also sat in silence, Miranda doing her best to conceal the necklace.

Upon returning to the Normandy, naira headed straight for her room, using the excuse that she needed a shower.

Upon entering her room, she ripped off her armour, leaving it in a pile near her desk.

"EDI, I want no communications in here. No one is allowed in here either."

"Very well Sheppard."

Naira didn't trust the A.I. She quickly located the wires that connected her room to the internal communications network, and used her tech abilities to shut it down. She then sealed her door.

**Now it doesn't matter if that A.I works.**

She turned around and found herself looking at the photo of Kaidan.

She picked it up, and threw it to the floor, before storming onto her bed.

She didn't care about the broken glass on the floor, underneath the fish tank.

She didn't care that the illusive man wanted to talk to her.

She didn't care that the galaxy needed to be saved.

Naira just wanted to cry.

It had only happened once before. Her life on the streets of earth meant that crying was not a luxury that she could afford.

The only time that she had cried was after the mission to Virmire.

**After sacrificing Ashley to save Kaidan.**

"I'm always here for you," he had said.

**He had proposed to her.**

**He wanted to be with her forever.**

But because of his blindness he had walked away from her.

**She had loved him.**

It was no simple crush. Naira had genuinely cared for Kaidan, more so than anyone else she had ever known.

**Hell, she loved him.**

**She still does.**

Even after watching him walk away, Naira still loved Kaidan.

But his rejection of her, his refusal to hear her explanation, this is what had put her in this state.

All she wanted was to be happy with Kaidan.

During her time with him, he had been her rock, her sounding board.

He listened to whatever she had to say.

He spared with her when she needed to.

He even let her practice her biotics on him.

And now he had abandoned her.

**Left her vulnerable.**

If she had been thinking straight she might've realised that the two years had had its toll on him.

But she wasn't thinking straight.


	9. Kaidan's Horizon Aftermath

_Ok, more chapters :)_

_Kaidan immediately after the confrontation of Horizon._

_Italics still = his thoughts._

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><p><em>The nerve of her.<em>

Kaidan thought that he had gotten over her. Sure, he still loved her, but he had accepted that she was dead.

To see her after almost two years was like he had been hit by an asteroid.

_And she was with Cerberus._

He could remember every mission where the two of them had stopped one Cerberus monstrosity or another.

_How could she have forgotten?_

Kaidan was in his room, packing his bags. His comm. system indicated that there was a message for him.

"Hello?"

"Commander, its Hackett. We've been trying to contact you for the past four hours. What happened?"

"Everyone was abducted. I don't know who did it."

"Are our suspicions confirmed?"

"Cerberus did send a team, and Sheppard was leading it."

"Any evidence that they drew the attackers there?"

"No, Naira said that they were there to try to stop whoever was doing this."

"Has she changed?

"Just a few scars. Physically she's the same."

"Mentally?"

"I'm... I don't.. I'm not sure. We didn't really talk much.

Another lie, but he didn't care.

_At least Hackett can't see my face._

"We'll need to monitor this turn of events. I was hoping that the rumours weren't true. Best to keep this between us."

"Yes sir"

"Hackett out."

Another sigh.

_More non committals._

_And no new assignments._

_I have to get away from here._

_But where?_


	10. Aftermath for nonsaviours of the galaxy

_Horizon aftermath for humans._

**Bold= Naira's thoughts.**

Underline=Joker's thoughts.

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><p>Joker was sitting at the helm, checking the extranet for any interesting articles.<p>

When he opened a questionable link, he didn't expect Miranda to come up behind him.

"What are you looking at?" Joker nearly jumped a foot in the air. He closed that link faster than anything you've ever seen.

"Uh, nothing. Nothing at all." he replied turning around to face Miranda, heart beating twice as fast and feeling the sweat fall down his back.

I don't need this.

"Relax; I'm not here to yell. I need to ask you a question."

Well that's unexpected.

"Uh, ok," his heart returned to normal.

She pulled something out of her pocket; a ring on a necklace.

"If you're going to propose….."

"What? No. Not at all. Why would you…never mind," Miranda shook the thought from her head, making Joker laugh. "As you probably know, Commander Alenko was down on horizon. As he walked off he dropped this. Any idea what it is?"

She handed the necklace to joker. He looked at it.

Huh. This looks like that necklace that Kaidan used to try to hide.

"I remember Kaidan wearing a necklace like this."

"But why would he leave it on horizon?"

"Well what happened?"

"He and Shepard had an argument, I think. They were out of earshot, and I really didn't care. Then he walked off, and she dropped to her knees. Then he dropped this."

"Maybe you should ask Naira."

"She's still in her room. I had to report to the illusive man, and Garrus and I finished everything on Illium."

"And no one's had any luck opening the door?"

"None whatsoever."

"Then I think we need to go to Haestrom."

"Can the Quarian open the door?"

"I'd bet on it. She and Shepard used to swap tricks a lot. If anyone can undo it, Tali can."

"Set a course then."

"Already on it."

* * *

><p>Naira had lost track of time.<p>

Maybe she had been in her room for an hour.

**Maybe a week.**

She really didn't care.

She just lay on her bed staring out the oddly placed window.

She watched the stars rush past.

**We're moving again.**

They had stopped at two planets since horizon, she knew that much.

**But no one had opened her door.**

That made her happy.

Minutely happy.

**Maybe she'd never be happy again.**

**Maybe she'll waste away in this room, never to be found.**

Then the door opened.

And in walked Joker.

* * *

><p>"Shepard you look terrible."<p>

Joker couldn't believe what he was seeing. He had never seen Shepard look this way.

For one thing, she wasn't wearing her clothes.

Just underwear.

She also looked like she hadn't eaten in a year.

"Go away Joker."

"Not gonna happen."

"Fine. What do you want?"

She still hadn't taken her eyes off the window. Joker decided to sit next to her; he almost stepped on the broken glass.

**Poor Kaidan.**

"Did you have to destroy the frame?"

Silence.

He sat next to her.

"What's wrong?"

"You have no idea? Hasn't anyone talked?"

"I want to hear it from you."

"Fine. Kaidan wouldn't listen to me. He thought that I didn't die, and that I had abandoned him."

"Ouch."

Naira looked at him.

"That's all you have to say?"

He smiled.

"It got you to look at me didn't it?"

Naira gave him a look of ridicule, and then noticed the necklace in joker's hands.

"What's that?"

"Actually that's what I wanted to ask you. See, you know Kaidan better than anyone. Miranda says that he dropped this."

Joker handed the necklace to naira, who was now sitting up.

She took it, saw the ring, and broke down into tears.

"What's wrong?" joker asked again.

"This," Naira said between sniffs, "Was Kaidan's mothers. She had given it to him when he enlisted. It was her wedding ring. Se died the next day. Kaidan proposed to me, with this ring. I told him to wear it, to avoid suspicion. I died the next day."

Naira broke down again.

"Shit." was Joker's response.

"Not gonna fall for the same trick twice."

But something was bugging naira.

"How'd you get in here?"

"Tali opened the door."

"Tali?"

"Yeah. While you've been moping in here, Miranda and Garrus recruited Tali, Samara, and Thane, saved Miranda's sister, and sorted out Jacob's father. They did better than you."

"How long have I been in here?"

"Two weeks. You look like you haven't eaten in a month."

Naira looked at her body.

"Not really. Growing up on the streets, I never looked much. Even after alliance training I still didn't weigh much."

"Is this relevant?"

"I guess not."

"Are you gonna come introduce yourself to the new recruits?"

"I guess. Let me get dressed first?"

"I don't know. I think I could handle you walking around like that."

That comment earned him a light punch, which to him was quite hard.

"Hey, watch the bones!"

As he walked out, he added:

"Please have a shower. You smell worse than Grunt after a battle."

That made Naira smile.

**Maybe I just need to move on.**


	11. The Locker Scene

_Ok, a nice little chapter cause number 12 just aint clicking into shape._

_Another flashback: the infamous locker scene!_

_Bold=Naira's thoughts._

_Do I still need to say that?_

_Thanks for reading and reviewing_

_you make me smile_

* * *

><p><strong>That damn council!<strong>

Naira had had enough. They had made her a spectre so that she could investigate Saren, and now she was being grounded.

**It's like I'm a kid. Let me play with a toy, but take it away when I'm getting somewhere!**

Unfortunately her weapons locker was taking the brunt of her frustrations. She had already put a biotic punch into it, leaving a sizeable dent.

**That probably won't be coming out.**

She collapsed, exhausted.

Kaidan walked up to her.

"Grounded huh?"

"I feel like a kid. You know how parents let a kid play with something until you do something good with it?"

Kaidan couldn't say that he completely followed her train of thought, but she needed support, not a fight.

"Yeah. What are you gonna do about it?"

"I was thinking I might talk to Anderson about it."

"Good idea. Want me to come?"

"Yeah, I'd like that."

He put out his hand; she took it, and pulled herself up.

He also pulled her up, causing her to fall into his arms.

They looked in each other's eyes.

Completely understanding.

She knew that he wouldn't let her go.

She stood on her toes, in order to reach his lips.

He leaned down, allowing them to share their first passionate kiss.

And their first kiss in public.

They didn't hear jokers call.

They were in their own perfect world.

One that neither of them ever wanted to leave.


	12. Hell hath no fury like a biotic pissed

So, its been a few months since I last posted.

I took the break because I had a midyear exam for Biology, which I got an A for. Go me :)

I also turned 18- so now officially an adult.

I have been writing chapters on my ipod always, just haven't put them up.

Speaking of exams, I have end of years soon. November. With an oral Japanese exam on Tuesday.

Why am I back, when I should so clearly be studying?

That's a great question.

My answer is that I am easily distracted, and started writing.

Or it could be that I have discovered an awesome band- Sheytoons- and their music made me feel like writing.

There's probably a right answer, but I don't know.

Maybe another chapter soon, probably not till November 22 (after my final exam.)

Enjoy!

Reviews always appreciated.

This comes after Chapter 9.

* * *

><p>Kaidan resumed packing his bags, thinking back to his encounter with Naira.<p>

_Well done Kaidan, you blew it. Naira was the best thing that ever happened to you, and you yelled at her. Didn't give her a chance to speak. _

Kaidan shook his head of the thoughts. He had finished packing, except for one item. A photo of Naira. He smiled at the memory of taking it. Naira hated photos, but he had tricked her, capturing the perfect photo. This happiness was washed away when he recalled the past hour's events. He biotically flung the picture into the wall by the door.

The communication device beeped again; the Alliance was sending a frigate to pick him up. Kaidan collected his bags, and walked to the door. He paused at the broken frame, and picked it up.

* * *

><p>The Frigate was no Normandy. Nor was it like the civilian quarters he had gotten used to. Kaidan had come back to military life, complete with uncomfortable living arrangements. A cramped room with no room to walk.<p>

_At least I don't have to share._

Kaidan had hoped, prayed, that the crew would leave him alone. But, it seems, Kaidan wasn't to get what he wanted. The junior crew members were in too much awe to talk, simply staring at him in the corridors as he passed.

The senior crew weren't in awe; they wanted recounts of all the battles he had been in.

The crew had also seen fit to have someone escort Kaidan everywhere he went. This was over the top and unnecessary, but no-one seemed to want Kaidan's opinion.

Just his stories.

Kaidan had managed to avoid talking to anyone for most of the trip. Whenever someone asked a question, they would receive monosybillic replies. The first few days went by this routine.

* * *

><p>The next time he sat down for dinner, he was joined by four sergeants. Not wasting any time, the leader of their little band spoke up:<p>

"So Commander, is it true that you hooked up with Commander Shepard before that Ilos trip?"

Kaidan rolled his eyes. He took another mouthful.

"Nope, not true." _None of your business. _

"Cause I heard from someone that the two of you spent a lot of time together…"

The sergeant was silenced due to being flung into a wall.

The room fell silent, all eyes switching between the glowing blue aura that was now Kaidan, and the crumpled body of the sergeant.

The Commander of the Frigate, Commander McPherson, walked in, surveying the room.

"Commander, I think it would be best if you went to your quarters, and remain there for the remainder of the trip."

"Yes, Commander," as Kaidan walked out, he smiled. _Now I will have some peace._

* * *

><p>"Sergeant May is still in the infirmary, the doctors say he'll be there for another month. You broke both his legs, his right arm, all of his right ribs are cracked, and his cheek is fractured. You damned near killed him Commander! What could have prompted that?"<p>

Kaidan avoided the human councillor's eyes.

"It could have been worse."

"How?

"Vyrnnus." Kaidan stared straight at Anderson, who stared straight back. The Commander eventually won the unofficial contest, with Anderson looking away.

"Agreed."

"I had just enough control to avoid crushing him to death. Just. What will happen to me?"

"I've been able to classify it as emotional stress, and have avoided a disciplinary hearing."

"Thank you Anderson."

"Don't thank me just yet. The council has a mission for you."

"The council? Seriously?"

"You are to be made a spectre, though quietly. We don't want Cerberus knowing. Your mission is to find out what Shepard is up to. She's to be on Earth in two days, for a hearing. Talk to her, find out why she destroyed all those colonies-"

Kaidan was confused. "Shepard destroyed colonies?"

"Billions of lives. We need you to find out why."

_Shepard, killing billions of people? That can't be right. _

"I, uh, don't think I'm the right person for that."

"The council do. They believe that, having been on her crew before, she will be willing to open up to you."

_I'm sure they know about our past. It seems everyone does._

"Do you believe that?"

"I think you have a better chance than anyone else of getting her to open up. You're on a transport tomorrow."

* * *

><p>Just a thought- monosybillic ain't a word is it?<p> 


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